"I suffer so from insomnia I don't know what to do."
"Oh, my dear, if you could only talk to my husband awhile."
"Did Hardlucke bear his misfortune like a man?"
"Exactly like one. He blamed it all on his wife."—Judge.
A woman mounted the steps of the elevated station carrying an umbrella like a reversed saber. An attendant warned her that she might put out the eye of the man behind her.
"Well, he's my husband!" she snapped.
OLD MONEY (dying)—"I'm afraid I've been a brute to you sometimes, dear."
YOUNG WIFE—"Oh, never mind that darling; I'll always remember how very kind you were when you left me."